Easy Recipes

I have come to realize that my mother will hesitate to be unconditionally proud of me until I can demonstrate I am capable of cooking edible meals.  Since I was 12 years old, she has been trying to drag me into the kitchen to stand next to her and learn. In college I would get daily lectures on the importance of a home cooked meal and how I would wither away without a decent roti in my belly.  In grad school I was threatened with no prospect of ever being married if I was a kitchen disaster. And now out in the world of work, she has given up on me all together.  So when and if I ever do "cook" something, I am sure to give her a call.  The response from her and my father is always one of shock, followed by sarcasm.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

I have finally grown tired and disgusted by my makeshift recipes, recycled over and over: Mrs.T's frozen Perogis, Buitoni pre-made ravioli in Ragu pre-made tomato sauce, anything and everything by Morningstar, Magi noodles...etc, etc.

A college diet for a near 30-year old.

And so begins a series of experiments I will be subjecting myself and my friends and family to.

Most recently: Brazilian cheese puffs. These are made with tapioca flour, which is available at Heinen's and quite frankly may actually be another source of road paving material.  They were the consistency of baked paper mache with a faint taste of cheddar.  I fed them to J and he was nice about it, but later confessed 2 days later he was concerned he was still trying to digest them.

Don't make this:

Ingredients:

• 1 egg 
• 1/3 cup olive oil
• 2/3 cup milk
• 1 1/2 cups tapioca flour (8$ for a small bag of edible cement)
• 1/2 cup grated cheese
• 1 teaspoon of salt (or more, likely much more)

Preheat oven to 400°F. Grease a mini-muffin tin. Blend all ingredients in a blender. You may need to use a small metal spade to scrape down the sides of the blender.  You can potentially refrigerate this batter for up to a week.  However, I cannot guarantee it will not crawl out of the freezer and walk out of your home.

Bake in the mini muffin tin for 15-20 minutes

They are suppose to come out "puffy" and "golden brown".  If you manage to make them this way, please send me a comment and tell me your secret.  I would not advise "saving these to eat at a later time", with time they become progressively more dense.

Guaranteed to constipate.

Arthur: The Anthropomorphic Aardvark

I thought I would sit and come up with a wonderfully clever post during my vacation time; but after sitting at my laptop for the last 30 minutes and attempting to think of something creative, insightful and yet hilarious - I have nothing to show for it.

I am finally on vacation, after working 9.5 months straight, with a rare "Golden Weekend" off, you would think the shock of relaxation would jolt my brain. I have decided to issue a confession instead.

At the age of 27, I still watch cartoons. This happens twice a year, when I go back home to my parent's house and settle into that familiar routine of sleeping in, eating home cooked Punjabi food until my belly hurts and then taking multiple naps a day.

And I don't mean cartoons that come on after 7:00 PM. My cartoon of choice is a PBS favorite - Arthur, a show about a nerdy 8 year old Aardvark in a yellow knit sweater. I assure you, this is not lame. This show is actually very entertaining. It's also very comforting, there's something about going back to those things in your childhood that made you laugh. Wholesome television, that you could watch without traumatizing select members of your family. I don't know why it still appeals to me, maybe it's just good programming; but I have a feeling it might have to do with hoping that there's still some childlike innocence in me, that hasn't been bulldozed over by working 90 hour weeks in a county hospital.

It may also have to do with the awesome theme song, Believe in Yourself sung by Ziggy Marley. Stop judging me.

No Known Drug Allergies

Recently I had an experience where I felt some of my jaded ice burg self start to thaw. I did not know what to do with myself. People aren't suppose to be kind! People are not suppose to have manners, and hold doors open or say 'please' and 'thank you'! People are not suppose to care about you!

I found the kindness I experienced to be shocking, and as a result was awkward. I also probably looked constipated because I was taking so long to process the whole experience. The niceness was just all too much for me.

When I told my friend S about the experience she told me to stop acting like I was allergic to happiness.

Bust the Funk with Mariah

This second year of residency has been a true test of optimism. I've found myself becoming progressively more jaded and after my second round of night float things were especially grim appearing. I needed a some cheer and sparkle, and so as soon as the American Thanksgiving was within arms reach I put up my Christmas tree to bring some happy into my living room. Yes, I am admitting to commiting a crime against Christmas. I am almost that lady on the Target commerical who wears a bow sweater and trains for the holidays. Judge me if you will but it warms my heart to walk in to the sparkly, shiny ornaments clad tree.

And don't forget, the holidays have not begun until Mariah Carey rings through the malls.

Is anyone still out there: or a post about food poisoning

Well, hello old friends! It has been far too long. Almost a year after my soggy noodle of an attempt at completing 365 days of blogging, I return to write again. I have been brought back to the world of DFM by a brief spurt of food poisoning. As I lay here on the couch, recovering from the revenge of my colon I took a few moments to ponder all the things missing from my life. I miss creativity and I miss writing my nonesense.

I sat on the bathroom floor holding my cramping abdomen this evening, processing the possibility that I was dying and in the event that this should surmise began to think of all the things I had yet to experience. And so here we go, once again I pick up the proverbial pen, to write about my mundane days with disproportionate drama. If you have experienced DFM in the past, you will recall that I will test your patience with sporadically timed posts.

Now that the nausea seems to be abating and the associated delirium subsides, let me offer some advice: always cook your mozarella sticks until the cheese oozes out. If your rush those things they will hit hard, with a severe case of pukey buckets.

Day 140-160: Reader Beware, there are no Rainbows here

I may have completely forgotten about my blog these past 2 weeks. I am sure anyone who was reading this has long abandoned the cause. I will not fault you for losing faith in an unreliable writer.

What have I been doing these past 2 weeks? Losing confidence.

I have had the misfortune of admitting numerous very sick people to the general medicine floor, who required more intensive care. And so their outcomes and hospital course have left me feeling as though I must be the worst intern of all time.

There may also have been a very harrowing 3 days in which I neither ate or slept much; at the end of which even my senior resident said I looked like shit and should go home early to sleep.

Thank you senior resident for being so blunt and caring at the same time. If only you were actually present on the floor to help your interns beyond those 3 hours in the morning.

Into the sixth month of residency:
Have I become a bitter little person - most definitely so.
Am I verging on the cusp of clinical depression - it is only a matter of time.
Do I have any medical knowledge - little to none.
Do I have a kick ass Christmas tree in my living room - damn right.
Do I get time to sit and look at said Christmas tree - do I get time to sit?
What would I do if I was fired as an intern - pack my bags happily and go back home to CANADA to find a regular sane job.
Is this the most gloomy blog entry of all time - is this the last blog entry?

Day 132-139: Matrimonial

One of my friends was forced to sign up for a matrimonial website by her concerned parents. This is one of many professions of "love"/oddity she has received. This has not been edited in any way. The world is full of winners:

"Please, schedule time to talk with me. I want to talk about family, love, relationship and trust and many more. Loving is never waste of time. so, Prepare to chat through webcam. we can understand each other well. We all waste our time by finding right, instead of Creating right person. Husband and wife relationship is like 1000 years of crops. please pour the water timely to nurture it. I plan to visit usa in January 2011. Visa processing is ongoing through MNC. Company ready to support provide H-1B section. But iam demanding for L-1 section(for clearly immigration and naturalization in future to attain green card). Iam keenly to settledown in usa after the marriage. so, please take timely decision with true love. My mom and 4 sister everybody want to see my marriage as soon as possible. But i Promise them that there is time for everything.

Yours Lovingly,
(mr gentleman)"