Easy Recipes

I have come to realize that my mother will hesitate to be unconditionally proud of me until I can demonstrate I am capable of cooking edible meals.  Since I was 12 years old, she has been trying to drag me into the kitchen to stand next to her and learn. In college I would get daily lectures on the importance of a home cooked meal and how I would wither away without a decent roti in my belly.  In grad school I was threatened with no prospect of ever being married if I was a kitchen disaster. And now out in the world of work, she has given up on me all together.  So when and if I ever do "cook" something, I am sure to give her a call.  The response from her and my father is always one of shock, followed by sarcasm.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

I have finally grown tired and disgusted by my makeshift recipes, recycled over and over: Mrs.T's frozen Perogis, Buitoni pre-made ravioli in Ragu pre-made tomato sauce, anything and everything by Morningstar, Magi noodles...etc, etc.

A college diet for a near 30-year old.

And so begins a series of experiments I will be subjecting myself and my friends and family to.

Most recently: Brazilian cheese puffs. These are made with tapioca flour, which is available at Heinen's and quite frankly may actually be another source of road paving material.  They were the consistency of baked paper mache with a faint taste of cheddar.  I fed them to J and he was nice about it, but later confessed 2 days later he was concerned he was still trying to digest them.

Don't make this:

Ingredients:

• 1 egg 
• 1/3 cup olive oil
• 2/3 cup milk
• 1 1/2 cups tapioca flour (8$ for a small bag of edible cement)
• 1/2 cup grated cheese
• 1 teaspoon of salt (or more, likely much more)

Preheat oven to 400°F. Grease a mini-muffin tin. Blend all ingredients in a blender. You may need to use a small metal spade to scrape down the sides of the blender.  You can potentially refrigerate this batter for up to a week.  However, I cannot guarantee it will not crawl out of the freezer and walk out of your home.

Bake in the mini muffin tin for 15-20 minutes

They are suppose to come out "puffy" and "golden brown".  If you manage to make them this way, please send me a comment and tell me your secret.  I would not advise "saving these to eat at a later time", with time they become progressively more dense.

Guaranteed to constipate.

Arthur: The Anthropomorphic Aardvark

I thought I would sit and come up with a wonderfully clever post during my vacation time; but after sitting at my laptop for the last 30 minutes and attempting to think of something creative, insightful and yet hilarious - I have nothing to show for it.

I am finally on vacation, after working 9.5 months straight, with a rare "Golden Weekend" off, you would think the shock of relaxation would jolt my brain. I have decided to issue a confession instead.

At the age of 27, I still watch cartoons. This happens twice a year, when I go back home to my parent's house and settle into that familiar routine of sleeping in, eating home cooked Punjabi food until my belly hurts and then taking multiple naps a day.

And I don't mean cartoons that come on after 7:00 PM. My cartoon of choice is a PBS favorite - Arthur, a show about a nerdy 8 year old Aardvark in a yellow knit sweater. I assure you, this is not lame. This show is actually very entertaining. It's also very comforting, there's something about going back to those things in your childhood that made you laugh. Wholesome television, that you could watch without traumatizing select members of your family. I don't know why it still appeals to me, maybe it's just good programming; but I have a feeling it might have to do with hoping that there's still some childlike innocence in me, that hasn't been bulldozed over by working 90 hour weeks in a county hospital.

It may also have to do with the awesome theme song, Believe in Yourself sung by Ziggy Marley. Stop judging me.

No Known Drug Allergies

Recently I had an experience where I felt some of my jaded ice burg self start to thaw. I did not know what to do with myself. People aren't suppose to be kind! People are not suppose to have manners, and hold doors open or say 'please' and 'thank you'! People are not suppose to care about you!

I found the kindness I experienced to be shocking, and as a result was awkward. I also probably looked constipated because I was taking so long to process the whole experience. The niceness was just all too much for me.

When I told my friend S about the experience she told me to stop acting like I was allergic to happiness.