Day 3: Multitasking Fail

This story dates back to my first day of work – day before yesterday. I had just survived the day with minor scarring and had been so desperate to flee the hospital that I sped out of there like it had Godzilla himself wrapped around the building.

I may also have been somewhat delirious from the fumes of all the antibacterial I had been rubbing copiously all over myself that day. So I ended up taking the freeway home, which for me is a major feat because usually I’m so afraid of changing lanes at speeds over 25 miles an hour, that I just putter around on local roads to get everywhere.

So in my defense the events that later unfolded were the result of a series of circumstances that had left me feeling like my legs were made of silly putty.

At my apartment building I was further tackled by emotions, these however; were of a happier variety. I had a birthday package waiting for me downstairs and since even receiving bills in the mail sends me over the moon this had an effect about 10,000,000 times greater in magnitude.

Furthermore, on my way up the stairs I got a very exciting phone call. And so now my energy was focused on trying to describe my first day of work, while reading who the package was from and at the same time trying to open the door.

You may scoff at this, but that is a whole lot of mind energy, especially when you also need to pee.

**Some time later:

At an odd hour of the evening there was a loud knock on my door. I was not expecting anyone. In fact there are only 2 people in Cleveland who know where I live and would actually come visit. But they would call before they came. So who the hell was this!?!?

Since I am a tremendous pansy and very paranoid about living alone, this knock at that hour spooked me. Images of Dateline horror stories and that psycho killer from that one movie began shooting across my mind. And at the end I decided not to open the door lest it be someone awful.

Although, the knocking stopped; I continued to have a nagging feeling.

The next morning I could not find my keys and for a good 10 minutes I tore the house apart looking for them. And while standing in my room shaking my comforter over my head my idiocy hit me like a wall. I ran to the door and there still in the lock – ON THE OUTSIDE, were my keys.

Just waiting like a neon sign for Freddie Kruger.