Today both my attending and fellow told me I’m doing a good job. I think my ‘rounds face’ is working. During med school I learned that if I look very serious and like I am concentrating hard enough to cause something to levitate, people think I know what I am doing. If you try it, note there is a fine line between concentration and constipation.
I actually have no clue what the hell is happening 70% of the time. I am on an infectious disease rotation and we are supposed to inspect our patients from head to toe; however, yesterday I forgot to look in someone’s mouth. I was not going to make that mistake twice, I am super intern!
Me: “Can you please open your mouth and say ‘ahh’”
Patient: “aaahhhhhh”
Me: Holy crap, I can’t believe someone actually has a full set of healthy teeth!
Brief sidebar: Back when I lived in Canada and had free dental coverage I used to believe my dentist was an idiot, because although I only remember to floss once or twice a week he would always tell me I had great, clean teeth. I thought I had some super awesome, plaque resistant teeth; that is until I myself started looking around in people’s mouths.
People’s mouths are disgusting. Ninety-percent of people are missing more than 3 teeth and 35% of the remaining teeth have ugly silver fillings, the rest of the teeth are stained. And don’t even think about their tongues and gums or you will never eat again. So, really maybe relative to all those mouths, I do have the kind of teeth that would be to Colgate what MJ was to Nike.
Later that afternoon we visited the patient with the attending.
Attending: “Ms.X could open your mouth and say ‘ahh’”
Patient: ‘aaaahhh’
Attending: Could you please take out your dentures.
Me: Oh crap! Once again I know nothing. Mental note: change documentation after this is over.
So if you are a poor sucker who thinks that cute girl he works with has a nice smile. You may want to reserve judgment until you investigate. Dentures are damn tricky things.
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